Spring

I have waited so long this past winter for some sign of summer (the season). The only reason I plant bulbs is for the encouragement they give as they start to bloom. It's been in the 50's for a few days and I guess the soil must be warm enough to start the growing season......Anyway there are blooms! Amber brought over the little table and chairs for in front of my condo....and it's been chilly, but I've read the newspaper and worked on my lap top from the new patio out my door. It's great! Also look, my card collection is growing.....maybe soon I will feel comfortable to send them to someone.....right now they're my children of creation and I'm not quite ready to give them up...... Smile.....

I don't get it? I'm a real technotard...... Before I leave this desk, this day, there will be a picture posted to this blog......

I did it! I Did IT! Now I can do it again!

I'm into the new world..........

These are my most recent cards.....not perfection YET..... but a talent in development.

Developing my Creative Side....Humph....

I decided to try and make homemade greeting cards. I used to be creative! My daughters and one daughter-in-law are quite creative. What is my deal???? I've tried to copy idea's, I even had a friend cut the pieces and all I had to do was glue it down. The corners don't match, and it totally looks pasted together. Do I NOT have a sense of color? My Mother for years has crocheted the most "colorful" articals.....in fact I've often wondered why she randomly utilized the colors she did....I'm serious what ever color turned her fancy...that's the color she used she is the woman of many colors.....I'm more of a color pattern person and in this art form, I can't seem to get that right. I've slipped, I've boo booed, I've mis-matched, My ribbons aren't streight, my scalops aren't even, my messages aren't clever....But I'm going to forge ahead....I'm going to be creative if I have to put out the same card with 20 different messages..... I will be creative! I will be creative! I will be creative!

Hurt Feelings

I do the accounting for my HOA free of charge, and I work on the management committee free of charge. These meetings and accounting work cost me about twenty hours a month of skilled labor. I do this because I wanted to help, and any monies paid to me at my professional rate, saves the HOA and it can be put into a savings account for other expenses. But all of us that try to help, by giving, get calls in the middle of the night, at all hours with problems that residents want us to solve. We even have a law suit going between the neighbors....and I get requests to take sides..... ANYWAY to make a long, painful story short....someone said something hurtful about me....and it hurt badly. My first reaction was to get back and make them hurt as badly as they had hurt me..... I had some great idea's.....and it occupied my mind for quite some time. I remember a time when one of my daughters had a fight with a girl at the bus stop, and it got into a pushing match, and I guess my daughter punched the other girl.......all day my daughter gloried in the punch. But when she got home she told me about it and how worried she was that the other girls Mom was going to come over and tell me about the fight....My daughter said, she enjoyed the glory of the punch all day, knowing that when she came home, she would have to settle up.....rather than dread comming home she enjoyed her day and spent a smaller fraction of her day in the settle up period. For a couple of days I had some serious anger and hurt feelings. After all I had done.....Something rotten came of it. I began to take a better look at the situation, and took to prayer....This was consuming me. Had I done anything malicious with real intent to this person? No. Criticism always has an element of truth in it....where was that piece of truth?
Hum..... Try to look at it from their point of view.....did they not see a biger picture? Did they not have all of the facts? I wrestled with this seriously for a couple of days.....Then early one morning it came to me ---Yep, it came it me! The residents where I live are generally on a fixed income......stress is rising..... Recession, Grocery prices are rising, Gas prices are really rising, rate increases for utilities.....and it's getting scary for fixed income peoples..... Those price increases don't have faces.....but the lady (me) who raises HOA fees does! Let's rumor monger the lady who raises fees.......let's say she lines her own pockets with monies from fixed income people.....didn't she just buy a new car..... didn't she just purchase some new things.... I always see her with bags of stuff when she comes home (generally work)....... Anyway, I guess adults with their wits about them.....and adults that don't need the toxic attitudes of others can hire a management company to handle all of the HOA business....and will no longer sneek in and out of her condo trying to avoid neighbors.... I just want to live there too and not get involved in law suits, gossip, or toxic behavior....... Anyway there you go! I've feeling a lot better and complaints will need to go to a faceless management company.... Life is Good!

The Car Smash

Now that everything is settled down, I have time to reflect on the January 15th wreck of the Olds Alero. At the time it was a VERY big deal. I hit a slick piece of ice in 70 mph winds. It tossed my little car into the path of an on comming car. Wham... he hit my rear passenger side with his front passenger side. He had an old Ford with a number of paint colors and my flawless Alero was totaled. I had just purchased a fine loaf of bread, that on impact was smashed with my head.....but when the tow truck came to pick the car up.... I for some unknown reason packed my loaf of fine bread in my lap in the cab of the tow truck, and later carried it into the body shop office of the dealer. I still had that fine loaf of smashed bread in my arms when Amber picked me up...... "Amber, don't ask me about the bread. I don't know why I've packed it all over today." Anyway, I ended up at the emergency room to have my right hand checked. It was very swollen, and I didn't know if I had broken it. They took my blood pressure and told me it was 157/115 and although my hand wasn't broken, I better take care of the blood pressure. For about a week I had my blood pressure taken every day.... No change! No doubt about it it was dangerously high - normal is 120/80 STROKE HIGH! Don't know how long it had been that high, but my cancer medications apparently drove it up (chemo sucks) and I didn't know that I should be watching it. Anyway, to make a long story short.....I went to the doctor and now my blood pressure is normal.....and I'm starting to lose about a pound a week.....my cancer meds were also causing about a pound a month weight gain. This July I can become a Cancer Survivor if all goes well. And I'm SOOOOOO Glad I had a car accident...... and found out what I needed to do. Becides I have a Great New Car! It's a beauty and so is my blood pressure!

I saw something funny today that reminded me of a saying one of my children had......
On the way to work, I saw an attractively dressed young lady, walking barefooted on the side walk, with a pair of three inch heels wagging in her hand....she was delicately walking trying to avoid stones on the walk...plus it's March and the sidewalk must have been very cold..... I'm older and much wiser - I thought, why don't you just put on a pair of sneakers and just walk comfortable.... Then I realized "It's better to look good than feel Good" She would get where she was going, put on the heels, and look good! Oh the vanity of the young.

Troubled Thoughts

Today I talked with a co-worker.....and I'm reminded of an insident that happened long ago. When I had pets they were always cats. I don't know why, but a cat would be my choice. I even got ring-worm once from a litter of farm cats. Years ago there were some cats out in the barn, and they were bothersome....so they were caught and brought up to the house in a cage. There was a beautiful red cat/not orange/but red cat with lovely long fur and beautiful blue eyes. A rare beauty.....but definately wild..... Very wild. I wanted very much to tame that kitten. So for two or more weeks, I kept the kitten in a cage and tried to tame it. I fed it by hand, and it scratched me badly, I cleaned the cage and it scratched me, I kept the kitten safe and it scratched me..... I spoke to it in calm tones and it hissed at me.... I really tried my best to love and care for that beautiful kitten....and the kitten wouldn't have it.....as a result the kitten had to be put to sleep. It saddened me at the time, and I don't know why, but I was reminded of that insident from long ago. My co-worker has a beautiful daughter, absolutly given the best of homes as a child. In High School she was popular and seemed to have everything going for her. And then bi-polar behavior began....she self medicated with drugs. To make a long story short she took a nose dive and commited very UGLY acts. With help she came back to the surface and at eighteen married a police officer who is very supportive and knew her history. They have a baby boy and life was looking good. A couple of months ago (the daughter is now 20) this young family was in a car accident, and drugs were prescribed for the daughter and the husband lost his spleen (the baby is okay). The daughter with all of the stress can't kick the pain medications and is back in the hospital trying to kick the drug habit. It broke my heart while we were talking today. The father knows what a hold drugs have on his daughter and worries that she won't be able to fight the life long battle. He worries for his grandson, and wonder's how his son-in-law will be able to handle this day in and day out. And then he said, a part of his heart tells him, that she won't make it......and he's more prepared for her to die, than for the struggle she and the family will have to endure. I don't know how you reach that. He is a bishop and several young members of his ward are also struggling and one over-dosed just last week...... I've had cause to reflect on my own children and grandchildren. Life is not easy and parents have just got to be stronger, more responsible, more attuned to their children, More, More, More. I can visualize that beautiful little red kitten.......